For a while now I've had the sneaking suspicion that I don't have a whole lot in common with much of the female population of the world. At least not the female population T.V. stations seem to be targeting during the day. I work evenings most of the week, and since we have the most basic cable you can imagine, most of what is on during the day are things like "Rachel Ray", "Better" (as in "Better Homes and Gardens", but for T.V.), and "Good Day Utah". I try to get into it, but just find myself in a state of bemused detachment. I get this feeling a lot in Relief Society, and when listening to my friends discuss girly things, like movies and books. So for my own amusement I've started a list on ways I differ from friends or the ladies on television shows.
This is for entertainment only! I'm not trying to say I'm superior or inferior in any way. Just my own different self.
So, in no particular order
Why I am a dysfunctional girl:
1. I rarely, if ever, use "darling" as a descriptive word.
2. I don't see myself ever "scrapbooking". Can't I just put my pictures in an album without needing stickers? or themed paper? or special scissors? or paper punchers? Cuz really, I don't find those things exciting.
3. There are fashion/beauty magazines all over my apartment. I have never read any of them.
4. I hate shopping for clothes. It makes me grumpy and frustrated.
5. I have never shrieked and flapped my hands about because I am excited or startled. Nope. I prefer stealthy, ninja-like dropping to the ground.
6. I thought "Wuthering Heights" was twisted, and Heathcliff a creepy, brooding jerk. How is that story romantic??? I don't get it.
7. There is no "color scheme" whatsoever in my room. My sheets do not match my blankets, and my blankets do not match each other. My furniture is mismatched. And yet I sleep just fine.
8. I don't care what "What Not To Wear" says. I refuse to wear pointy-toed shoes.
9. I don't care which famous people are dating each other or not.
10. I don't care which non-famous people in my ward are dating each other or not.
11. If I pick up a book, and the description includes "love story" or "romance", 99% of the time it goes right back on the shelf.
12. Oprah has no effect on my opinions or choices in reading material. Especially since I don't watch her show.
13. On mornings when my choices are sleeping in or doing the hair/makeup thing, sleep wins.
14. There are days I don't give a crap what I look like. I'm not going to change clothes or put on makeup just to run to the store. People will just have to deal with looking at me in sweats and makeup-less once in a while.
15. I've never fantasized about my wedding day. No ideas on colors or flowers or dress or whatnot. I'd just as soon elope and avoid the hassle.
16. I find "chick flicks" boring and/or annoying. And they give girls unrealistic expectations on what to expect from guys.
17. I will most likely live a long and happy life, and never read "Twilight". Speaking of unrealistic expectations, there is going to be a generation of teenage girls shocked and dismayed when they get to high school and find . . . . . high school boys . No beautiful immortals. Poor kids.
I could go on for a while. But I'm tired and you get the idea. Hope everyone had a Happy Easter!
3 comments:
I don't think you are that different than the rest of us. I read Twilight, but for the same reason that I read Harry Potter, I was just curious. I am not in love with a Vampire.
I was disappointed when I found out high school wasn't like saved by the bell. That was disappointing.
Sorry, but you are still girly in your own way. Just watch Newsies and you will remember
We love you just the way you are. And you only used the stealthy drop once, that I can recall. Way to keep it under cover. The eloping is probably due to participating in other people's weddings, and being frugal. The rest is just part of your girly-in-your-own-way charm. Who doesn't love an athletic young woman in sweats!
Most people don't scrapbook until they have kids...you never know what you will end up doing! Seriously, you should start scrapbooking so that you could help me, I am NEVER going to catch up.
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