Boys Kill Brain Cells

Alright kids, I have been trying unsuccessfully to think of something interesting to blog about. But since life has been fairly uneventful for a while, you get to hear some random rantings instead. Ready?


Here we go.


Once upon a time, not very long ago, I was a relatively intelligent person. Seriously. I know it's difficult to believe, but take my word for it.

"What happened?" You may wonder. Well, let me tell you. . .

Boys happened.

And now, I am getting dumber by the day.

Coincidence? I think not.


For most of my life, guys were hardly on the radar. I never bothered to learn the fine art of flirting. During my years in Junior High and High School when your average girls are perfecting these skills, I was shy to the point of being anti-social. Probably didn't help that I was overweight and had bangs that resembled a buffalo stuck to my forehead and tended to wear clothes that were not exactly flattering. (No, I'm not being mean to myself. Just stating facts. I do have photographic evidence if required.) So the male population and I blissfully ignored each other. And although I was disappointed that life was not like what was depicted on "Saved By the Bell", at least my brain cells remained intact.


Then I got a little older and came out of my shell a bit. Not entirely sure this was a good idea. Couple years ago I even started dating. Not entirely sure this was a good idea, either. About this same time, I have noticed a drop in my I.Q. Why else would I do these things that show a remarkable lack of reason and intelligence? For example:

- My mood can be changed dramatically by a text or e-mail (or lack thereof). We are talking Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde territory here.
- I have stare-downs with my phone when I naively believe that a guy will call when he says he will. My phone is very good at this game and wins 9 times out of 10. I suspect illegal doping.
- I'm actually scared to text guys, because I absolutely HATE the period of waiting to see if he'll text back or not.
- Calling is even worse. I'm scared that he'll answer and I'll be expected to put together comprehensible sentences. If he doesn't, I wonder if he's ignoring me.
- I have the almost-irresistible urge to hit married/involved people who claim to miss dating. I'd trade this "exciting" phase of my life for the "routine" feeling of having someone there no matter what any day. I know marriage/exclusive relationships have their own sets of issues and problems. But it would be a welcome change from this insanity.

See? I know all these behaviors are ridiculous, and yet I can't seem to help myself. What other conclusion is there but that boys cause brain damage?

Case dismissed.